Quizzes & Questions...

 

I've got several FB friends who post stuff from different sites. Something I don't normally do. I'm inept, plus I get enough from them cause they know what they're doing. I'm more likely to write about my kid's and grandkid's accomplishments, or take goofy pictures of food, family, tankers or trees. I really like my friends posts though, (Anne, Cindy, Janice and Ari, you know who you are) especially the ones with "mandatory" quizzes that pertain to some of life's deepest and most provocative questions. Here are a few examples:

What is your real age? I got 41. Don't I wish...

How well do you know the bible? I did very well, thanks Dad...

What animal would you be? Lone wolf, but happy with my-own-company...

What's your IQ? 126, ugh, we won't expand on this one. Lucky I confided in you...

What emotion guides you? I'm quite "HOPEFUL" about life in general...

What kind of woman are you? Independent, except for any outdoorsy chores...

How crazy are you? I am almost totally sane. I know, I was surprised too...

How old will you live to be? It was ridiculously high, part of that "hopeful" thingy...

What's your brain good at? Already knew this, doing nothing very meaningful...

What Beatles song describes you? The Long and "Whiney" Road. They do know me..

How big of a foodie are you? I love food, but don't know squat about it technically...

Well, you can easily see I have WAY too much time on my hands because I take them all. View the results with equal amounts of scorn, skepticism, sarcasm and how the hell do they know that about me? My simple life until someone tried to slip one in on me that made my blood run cold. Proof positive some entity is spying on my boring, mundane life. Secretly watching me for years. Creepy-low-down-big-government-always-butting-it's-big-head-in-my-business. Now I'm gonna have to board up my windows and live off the grid. How could they have possibly found out about my addiction? I've always been so careful, buying out of state. Cash, I always pay cash. Is nothing private or sacred anymore? You're curious about this game-changing-breech-that-has-forever-changed-my-life-as-I-know-it? That fateful quiz a "friend" just happened to share on FB as a simple link that has now made me a paranoid shell of my former self?

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO YOUR LIP BALM?

I know, I was devastated too. Wait, it gets worse. The 7 (deadly?) signs you're addicted to your lip balm:

1. It's a psychological crutch: Umm, I don't do crutches, got a balance problem...

2. Do you apply frequently? Is it getting hot in here? My heart's beating funny...

3. Do you carry it with you at all times? Duh, wouldn't leave home without it. That's why God made pockets. And socks if you don't have pockets. And bras if you don't have...

4. Do you stash it everywhere? No, just on me, purse, car, socks, bra, travel bag...

5. Do you spend a lot on it? Not per unit price, but massive quantities should they ever stop making it. Got me my own little episode of Hoarders...

 

6. Do you ever go out of your way or are late to get more? As if!! I never run out...

7. Do you have trouble concentrating or enjoying life cause you can't take your mind off the need to apply? Wait, what was the question?

Cleveland Clinic's advice: Avoid ingredients like menthol. Oh-oh.

Avoid ones with a tingling sensation. That's bad? Oh-oh. Find one with at least an SPF of 30. Oh-oh.

I have not been able to find "Natural Ice" in Michigan for years. (unless you count the real horrible stuff during our endless winters) Several Iowa stores carry it until I visit the state, then supplies are depleted. Huh. Always said if I were stranded on a desert island, my lip balm and toothbrush are my must haves. I might be able to survive for quite a while. Not a bad idea, this whole deserted island thing. No more government spying on my quirky habits. Just-me-and-my-lip-tingling-puny-15-SPF-medicated-Natural-Ice-Mentholatum-lip-balm-stash. I'd better be the only one on the island though. I don't play well with others (see lone wolf and independent woman quiz answers above) and I don't share...